HUMOUR: Once upon a time in Italy ...

SEVERAL centuries ago, the Pope decreed that all the Jews had to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy. There was a huge outcry from the Jewish community, so the Pope offered a deal.

He'd have a religious debate with the leader of the Jewish community. If the Jews won, they could stay in Italy; if the Pope won, they'd have to convert to Catholicism or leave Italy.

The Jewish people met and picked an aged and wise, learned rabbi to represent them in the debate. However, as the rabbi spoke no Italian, and the Pope spoke no Yiddish, they agreed that it would be a 'silent' debate.

On the chosen day the Pope and rabbi sat opposite each other. The Pope raised his hand and showed three fingers. The rabbi looked back and raised one finger.

Next, the Pope waved his finger around his head. The rabbi pointed to the ground where he sat.

The Pope brought out a communion wafer and a chalice of wine. The rabbi pulled out an apple.

With that, the Pope stood up and declared himself beaten and said that the rabbi was too clever. The Jews could stay in Italy!

Later the cardinals met with the Pope and asked him what had happened.

The Pope said: "First I held up three fingers to represent the Trinity. He responded by holding up a single finger to remind me there is still only one God common to both our beliefs. Then, I waved my finger around my head to show him that God was all around us. He responded by pointing to the ground to show that God was also right here with us. I pulled out the wine and wafer to show that God absolves us of all our sins. He then pulled out an apple to remind me of the original sin. He bested me at every move and I could not continue."

Meanwhile, the Jewish community gathered to ask the rabbi how he'd won.

"I haven't a clue!" said the rabbi. "First, he told me that we had three days to get out of Italy, so I gave him the finger.
Then he tells me that the whole country would be cleared of Jews and I told him that we were staying right here."
"And then what?" asked a woman.
"Who knows?" said the rabbi. "He took out his lunch so I took out mine."

Best Happy Friday post yet: If historic people had Facebook :D

** More Happy Friday Humour **

PVP: New Gaming experience opens at Liberty Midlands Mall

AN exciting new entertainment venue has opened in Pietermaritzburg’s Liberty Midlands Mall. PVP Digital Arena (short for Player Versus Player) allows gamers to at last take advantage of some built-in features of the Xbox 360 that they have been denied up until now.

Previously Xbox owners have only been able to take advantage of around 30% of the capabilities of the Xbox, says Brendon Holder, who together with Paul Gilliver is responsible for dreaming up the idea for this ground-breaking store.

PVP is, apparently, the first of its kind in the country and the only electronic game specialist store in Pietermaritzburg. The store also retails a range of the best and latest games for Xbox, Playstation, PC and Nintendo consoles and Holder and Gilliver are available to give expert advice.

PVP will give gamers access to 20 networked  Xbox 360s connected to high definition LCD monitors, to play the latest games that include first person shooters such as Halo: Orbital Drop Shock Troopers and Call of Duty; third person shooters like Gears of War 2; real time strategy games such as Halo Wars; car racing and rally games that include Dirt 2, and car simulators like Forza 3; as well as a variety of “beat-em-up” games, and sports games like Fifa 10, rugby and golf.

The real X-factor with PVP, however, is the fact that players can play against other players in the same room, giving the already convincingly rendered games, enhanced reality. Slow internet speeds in South Africa have meant that unlike other places in the world, live multiplayer gaming has not been a real option for gamers in SA. This has meant that possibly the most exciting aspect of electronic multiplayer games has yet to be experienced by locals.

“Playing Call of Duty is so much more real when you and your squad are in the same room, discussing strategy, while your opponents are on the other side of the room planning how to ambush you. The line between real and virtual is blurred.” - Holder

To further enhance the experience, PVP will hold competitions, elite tournaments for pro gamers, and in-store events, including the possibility of “moments of madness” where they will randomly give away PVP-branded gear and other prizes to players.

The eagerly anticipated store has already created a stir on PVP’s facebook page (PVP Digital Arena) and Liberty Midlands Mall centre manager Cassie Fourie says that there has been a lot of interest shown.

“Customers have been asking when PVP is opening and are extremely excited”, she said, “We welcome this new addition to the mall, which caters to the entertainment element.”

The best news though is that to get in on the action, it will cost players less than a ride in one of those peddle boats at the seaside, with prices starting at a mere R20 per 30 minutes.

Costs to play at PVP Digital Arena
- R20 per 30 minutes
- R35 per one hour
- R60 per two hours

Games store events planned
• After-hour “lock ins” will be organised for groups of 16 or more on request.
• Competitions for rankings, with prizes, to be held every month.
• Elite tournaments for pro gamers to be held at PVP.
• Various events to be held weekly, including “moments of madness”

Other goods on offer at PVP games store
PVP is also a retailer of the best electronic console games for Xbox, Playstation, Nintendo Wii and PC. Buyers can try games before they buy and get expert advice on game choices. There will be a game swopping facility available too.

Membership options are planned for the future, with loyalty cards that earn members points that can be redeemed for playing time, games or PVP merchandise.

PVP games store equipment
• Twenty networked Xbox 360s linked to HDMI.
• 23” LCD monitors, with headphones and comfortable tub chairs.
PVP will keep their equipment current and in future will even change to another console platform if a better one is released.

PVP Digital Arena is at Shop 93A at Pietermaritzburg’s Liberty Midlands Mall. Don’t miss their grand opening at 9am this Saturday, October 24. Get there early to claim your place. For inquiries call PVP at 033 342 6420 or email Brendon Holder: brendon@pvp-arena.co.za

** More Gaming Articles **

NATIONAL ARTS FEST: The National Arts Festival

ATTENDANCE at this year’s National Arts Festival was dismal in comparison to previous years. It seems that the recession really is affecting people’s annual trips and touristy activities. There were, however, far more foreign festival goers than before, which created a nice multi-national vibe.

The Village Green stalls were pretty much the same as they’ve always been
– a lot of vendors selling the same stuff. Besides relocating closer to campus, the same array of colourful clothing, prickly pot plants, interesting art, fast food, musical instruments and CDs could be found. The most popular items this year: brightly coloured beanies.

Overall people seemed very reluctant to buy anything and not a lot of collectables seemed to be selling. One actually had to be careful not to look too interested in anything for fear of being pounced upon by a desperate vendor.

The notorious Eggman

Other daily sightings included clowns on stilts, magic sideshow tricks, freaky street mimes, an annoying guy walking around blowing a bird whistle, and the notorious Eggman.

The shows on the other hand were a sell-out, at least in the case of the main festival programme. I saw one play on the fringe which was somewhat embarrassing to watch as it was so appalling. I won’t mention any names.

Apart from these regular festivities, there was one place that grabbed everyone’s attention. A new enterprise called Pirates Pizza has fast become the new most popular hangout for Rhodents. The man behind the establishment started off by selling pizza from his res room back when I was still a student. Well let’s just say that he turned things up a notch and is doing pretty well for himself.

The business is thriving, especially since the addition of a bar, a dance floor and a stripper pole. The founders could quite easily retire before they hit thirty. Pirates Pizza could very well be the student entrepreneur endeavour of the decade. Unfortunately their website is still under construction, but you really have to head down there yourself to experience its omnipotence.

Pirates Pizza at National Arts Festival

Pirates Pizza - the new no.1 hangout at Rhodes

So make your bookings for next year’s Grahamstown Festival now as 2010 and the much anticipated end of the economic crisis promises to result in the biggest National Arts Festival in South African history.

PS: I didn’t take my camera this year as I was on holiday this time round, but there is a great collection of videos and photo-slideshows on the Cue website.

** More Promotions and Events **

DANCING FOR HUMANITY: Where the hell is Matt video

THE dancing video "Where the Hell is Matt?" has seen over 21 million views to date, so you're likely to have seen it before, but if you haven't, you should give it a watch. It takes you to a place of magic and joy and wonder - a place where all the bad in the world is forgotten for 4mins 29secs. It is one of the most viewed viral videos of its time and one of my top dancing videos.

"14 months in the making, 42 countries, and a cast of thousands. Thanks to everyone who danced with me" - Matt Harding

Dancing for Humanity

Thanks Matt. You Rock.

• If you enjoyed Dancing for Humanity, check out these guys:
  Playing for Change: Peace Through Music

** More Happy Friday Videos **

ULTIMATE V3 GAMING CHAIR: It’s death by comfort

THEY say that we spend a third of our lives sleeping (presumably in a bed). Well, I reckon that we spend another third of our lives sitting in a chair, especially if you work in an office. Think about it. You get out of bed, sit at the breakfast table, drive seated to work, sit at your desk, drive home again, maybe sit and watch some television, perhaps sit at your computer and do some writing or surf the web and climb back into bed.

Some are more disciplined than that. I had a Swiss-German friend at varsity who couldn’t even sit through a movie because it involved too much sitting.

I find nothing more satisfying than sitting (even better — lying) on a comfortable couch. The funny thing about couches is that it is always the most stuffed, unattractive-looking couch in any house that is everyone’s favourite — the couch that is probably worth less than the amount of loose change that has fallen into it over the years.

My dad has a favourite couch back home, which I’m sure is a source of some embarrassment when visitors arrive. I wouldn’t be surprised if my mother has tried to incinerate it in a freak “coal-leaping-out-the-fire” accident. I’m sure it would go up in flames pretty quickly with the amount of body oil that has seeped into it over the centuries.

This off-white relic has coffee stains, tobacco burns and an imprint of my father’s behind in the center. Yet, when seated in its mould, in front of an early winter’s fire and after some of Mother’s good home cooking, Father is as happy as Larry (however happy he is), usually fast asleep. He probably sleeps more in that couch than in his own bed.

So, if we do spend such a significant amount of our lives in beds and chairs, then why not make them decent ones. I’m always willing to spend a little extra on something that I know I’ll use every day and probably have for a lifetime.

I thought it was high time for me to chair up and buy myself a decent gaming chair — one that I could swivel around in freely and lean back and forth in. It’s a rather simple piece of furniture, although it was one heck of a science putting the thing together.

It came in attachable parts with a set of tools, a spider diagram, some Chinese instructions, and a note of encouragement. I half expected to find a small key, some coded message, a strange map and an enchan­ted ring. Without those one definitely needs a degree to put one of these pieces of technology together.

Although I now swivel contently in my “leather” chair, I still wanted to see what else was available on the market. This is what I found …

Ultimate Gaming Chair V3

The V3 Ultimate Gaming Chair can be jacked into your PC, Mac, Xbox, Game Cube, iPod, Playstation, or television. Photo: ultimategamechair.com

The V3 Ultimate Gaming Chair

There are a lot of fancy and alien-looking chairs out there — most of which have been designed for home entertainment. The simplest home theatre chairs have speakers mounted on the headrest and are basically REALLY comfortable and pleasant-smelling.

The most common gaming chairs, on the other hand, are designed to enhance the experience of simulators such as Flight Simulator. These have joysticks protruding out the armrests, which I imagine one could use to play a variety of games.

Racing chairs come with an adjustable chassis and have foot pedals and a steering wheel as part of their anatomy. The seats are designed to mimic the feeling of being in a Formula One car, and many even go the extra mile by vibrating as you ‘drive’ over rough roads.

Yet those seats are old school now. You can get a close-enough experience at your local arcade. I was more intrigued by the Ultimate V3 gaming chair. This baby is co­vered in plugs and ports and is compatible with just about everything. To name a few, you can jack it up to your PC, Mac, Xbox, Game Cube, iPod, Playstation, or television. One reviewer had this to say:

"The V3 quite literally rocks your face off! From our experience from it, we were simply stunned. It is like getting a back massage while playing all your favourite games in a comfortable leather chair. It is simply amazing." — ultimategamechair.com

It has 12 “strategically distributed” feedback monitors, adjustable 3D stereo speakers and a headset jack. It also vibrates and has “variable output on all three vibration sensation levels”. There are three vibration sensation levels? That takes the sensation of sitting in those vibrating chairs at the mall to a whole new le­vel.

I imagine that one would never get out of the V3 chair if seated in it. It would be death by comfort. So, I imagine that V3 owners have to be just as disciplined as those who are not fans of the couch.

• The V3 gaming chair sells for $500 (roughly R5 000) and can be ordered online at www.ultimategamechair.com. Free shipping too.

** More Gadget & Tech Reviews **

GENERAL KNOWLEDGE: DID YOU KNOW …

General knowledge enhancers: Entertainment:

1. The first couple ever to be shown in bed together on
   prime-time television were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
2. Barbie's measurements if she were life size: 39-23-33 (she would topple over)
3. Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland because he doesn't wear pants.
4. In 1980, a Las Vegas hospital suspended workers for betting on when patients would die.
5. Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
   Spades       -    King David
   Clubs          -    Alexander the Great
   Hearts        -    Charlemagne
   Diamonds -    Julius Caesar

General knowledge enhancers: Food & drink:

• Coca-Cola was originally green.
• Every time you lick a stamp, you're consuming 1/10 of a calorie.
• Nearly all lipstick contains fish scales. Yeech...
• A Saudi Arabian woman can get a divorce if her husband doesn't give her coffee.
• Bubble gum contains rubber.
• Most cows give more milk when they listen to music.
• Research indicates that mosquitoes are attracted to people who have recently eaten bananas.

General knowledge enhancers: Numbers:

1. Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the US Treasury.
2. 111,111,111 x 111,111,111
   = 12,345,678,987,654,321
3. A 'jiffy' is an actual unit of time for 1/100th of a second.
4. All the numbers on a roulette table add up to 666.

General knowledge enhancers: Language:

• The Hawaiian alphabet has 12 letters.
• Men can read smaller print than women; women can hear better.
• First novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
• "I am." is the shortest complete sentence in the English language.
• The phrase "rule of thumb" is derived from an old English law which stated that you couldn't beat your wife with anything wider than your thumb. (Read about the origins of more English phrases here).

General knowledge enhancers: People:

1. Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
2. The world's youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
3. The youngest pope was 11 years old.
4. The most popular first name in the world is Muhammad.

General knowledge enhancers: Famous people:

• Thomas Edison was afraid of the dark.

• Einstein couldn't speak fluently when he was nine. His parents thought he might be retarded.
• Every time Beethoven sat down to write music, he poured iced water over his head. And he was rather deaf.
• Sigmund Freud had a morbid fear of ferns.

General knowledge enhancers: History:

1. If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle; if the horse has one front leg in the air, the person died as a result of wounds received in battle; if the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
2. Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.

General knowledge enhancers: Vehicles:

The name Jeep came from the abbreviation used in the army for the "General Purpose" vehicle, G.P.

The cruise liner, Queen Elizabeth II, moves only six inches for each gallon of diesel that it burns.

City with the most Rolls Royce's per capita: Hong Kong.

In Tokyo, a bicycle is faster than a car for most trips of less than 50 minutes.

Now you know everything :-)

• Want to learn more? Check out my Quite Interesting page. It's 100% free!

** More Quite Interesting Histories **

SPLASHY FEN VIDEOS: Splashy’s 20th birthday jam

THE 20th Splashy Fen came and went in a drum-beat and proved to be one of the best ones yet. A diverse crowd of about 9000 people descended on the Ferraz farm in Underberg for five days of good South African music and festivities.

The crowd of festival goers ranged from metal-studded Goths to colourfully-clad hippies, whose Splashy spirits remained high whether they were jiving to a great South African band or chilling down by the riverside. The weather was kind this year and brought four full days of KZN sunshine.

Often a serious detox, a long shower and some much needed R&R, I put together two videos that I hope encapsulate the Splashy experience for any of those who couldn’t make it to Splashy Fen’s 20th birthday jam. Enjoy.

Splashy videos: The 20th Splashy Fen

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qLaGgShihwU]

Splashy Fen videos: 2009 highlights

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0NyPfAmgsk]

** Click here to see videos from last year’s Splashy Fen **