HAPPY FRIDAY: What drives teachers to drink

IF you've ever taught kids before, you or your fellow teachers are likely to have come across something like this before. Some of these test answers indicate artistic minds at work or supreme logical thinking. There's never a dull moment in the classroom, but many teachers use results like these as their excuse to drink. Enjoy!

Logical Thinker

This kid should honestly get full marks for his/her logical approach. Ask a general question and get a general answer; be asked to name something and that's what you do. Well done kid!

Date Rape

This kid may just have been bored or perhaps has problems at home.

Heartless Giraffes

This is a perfect example of lateral thinking. The only thing wrong is possibly the choice of the word "heartless" as giraffes actually have one of the biggest hearts in the animal kingdom.

Read and Complete

This kid deserves his/her zero mark. It doesn't even make that much sense. Most teachers wouldn't find this funny and should award the dunce hat to the author. Stay in school kid.

Future Artist

Let's face it, mathematics is not for everyone. But when someone can approach something mathematical in an artistic way, the results can be magic. This kid is clearly going to be a great artist one day... or a stripper.

Death threat to teachers

This was a risky one. Let's just hope that getting caned was banned at this school at the time of illustration. A good example of why teachers drink.

Logical Thinking

And the winning answer has to go to this kid for their supreme logical thinking. Teachers faced with an answer like this one should definitely award some marks for this kid's logical approach!

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OLD AGE HUMOUR: Remember these Old Man Jokes?

AN elderly couple had dinner at another couple's house, and after eating, the wives left the table and went into the kitchen. The two gentlemen were talking, and one said, "Last night we went out to a new restaurant and it was really great. I would recommend it very highly."
The other man said, "What is the name of the restaurant?"
The first man thought and thought and finally said, "What is the name of that flower you give to someone you love?
You know...the one that's red and has thorns."
"Do you mean a rose?"
"Yes, that's the one," replied the man.

He then turned towards the kitchen and yelled, "Rose! What's the name of that restaurant we went to last night?"

Three old guys are out walking.
First one says, "Windy, isn't it?"
Second one says, "No, it's Thursday!"
Third one says, "So am I. Let's go get a beer."

Morris, an 82 year old man, went to the doctor to get a physical. A few days later, the doctor saw Morris walking down the street with a gorgeous young woman on his arm.

A couple of days later, the doctor spoke to Morris and said, "You're really doing great, aren't you?"
Morris replied, "Just doing what you said doc, 'Get a hot mamma and be cheerful.'"
The doctor said, "I didn't say that! I said, 'You've got a heart murmur; be careful.'"

A man was telling his neighbour, "I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it's state of the art. It's perfect."
"Really," answered the neighbour. "What kind is it?"
"Twelve thirty."

An old couple in their nineties are both having problems remembering things. During a checkup, the doctor tells them that they're physically okay, but they might want to start writing things down to help them remember.

Later that night, while watching TV, the old man gets up from his chair.
"Want anything while I'm in the kitchen?" he asks.
"Will you get me a bowl of ice cream?" replies his wife.
"Sure."
"Don't you think you should write it down so you can remember it?" she asks.
"No, I can remember it."
"Well, I'd like some strawberries on top, too. Maybe you should write it down, so as not to forget it?"
He says, "I can remember that. You want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries."
"I'd also like whipped cream. I'm certain you'll forget that, write it down?" she asks.
Irritated, he says, "I don't need to write it down, I can remember it!
Ice cream with strawberries and whipped cream - I got it, for goodness sake!"
Then he toddles into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes, the old man returns from the kitchen and hands his wife a plate of bacon and eggs. She stares at the plate for a moment.
"Where's my toast?"

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HAPPY FRIDAY: Getting naked in the name of Art

THE human body contains every shape found in nature. Some of these shapes may be our internal squishy bits, but the human form has always been of fascination to the art world. Think of all those naked Greek sculptures depicting the human form in all its biological glory. It's also a great excuse to get people naked in the name of art.

The following naked pictures are credited to the IRP Group and illustrate how many shapes can be achieved using cloned, nude humans. More of their work can be found at Visual Art by the Human Body.

Naked Art

Naked Human Sunflower

Naked Human Flowers

Naked Human Peacock

Naked Human Blooming

Naked Human Dandelion

Naked Human Autumn Leaf

Naked Human Bossoms.. Blossoms!

Germination

Naked Human Peppers

Naked Human Frond

Naked Human Flower

Naked Human Rose

Related Art: Human Shapes Video

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HAPPY FRIDAY: These T-shirt designs are awesome

Enough said.

Awesome T-shirt Designs

Anyone know where we can order any of these awesome t-shirt designs from? I want the sans sheriff one!

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HAPPY FRIDAY: Vertaan jy rugby? Do you understand rugby?

WE'RE going to have to explain some of these to our non-South African friends. With the Rugby World Cup well underway there may be some who are still trying to get to grips with how the game of rugby works. It's a strange and spiritual sport that may need some explaining.

Glad to see that our boys are holding their own this World Cup. Go Bokke! (South Africa's rugby team are called the Springboks (see image below for pronunciation) which is a cute little piece of fauna found in South Africa that has the widest eyes when your car lights shine onto its face). Here are some more things you may not know about South Africa and the traditional game of rugby.

South Africa's Rugby team are called the Springboks

It is pronounced thusly-wise (more or less).

Rugby for Beginners

A "long drop" is a foul-smelling outdoor toilet. It's basically a shack built over a hole in the ground. You may recall that scene in Slumdog Millionaire where that little Punjabi boy jumps down a long drop and gets covered in you-know-what.

Verstaan jy Balsak?

This is clearly just an innocent sack of balls minding it's own business. However, in Afrikaans "balsak" is used as a derogatory term. It refers to the male scrotum (ball sack) in which the testicles are kept. So one wouldn't call the Arch Bishop a "balsak" for example.

Verstaan jy Fly-Half ?

Someone is clearly taking the piss here by presenting us with a fly that has obviously be sliced in half by a series of unfortunate events. But in the game of rugby the "fly-half" is quite an important position. I don't really know where they stand on the rugby field but I do know that they can run like the wind!

Pat Lambie

Pat Lambie is one of our shining stars on the rugby field. He's the one that kicks the ball a lot. He gets a lot of attention as you can see above and whenever he has an 'off day' or bad game newspapers seize the opportunity to use the cliche headline "A Lambie to the slaughter" or some similar dribble. Pat has had a haircut since this photo was taken.

Loose Forward

I don't really know how to explain this one. Some poor soul has clearly dislodged his fast-forward button on his remote. Forwards in rugby are the players at the front. Why they would be "loose" I'm not too sure. I'm not really that qualified to offer much wisdom on rugby at all to be honest. Perhaps some of our more hardcore fans could explain this one?

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