Learning the alphabet was fun. Singing the alphabet song has got to be one of the highlights of early life. When we started school many years ago, we had to learn the ABC. Kids still do, but the only thing that stayed the same is that A still stands for Apple!
Old School Alphabet
New Alphabet for kids today
Related Post: Learn the National Anthem the ABC way
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WHEN I SAY I'M BROKE - I'M BROKE!
A little old lady answered a knock at the door one day to be confronted by a well-dressed young man carrying a vacuum cleaner.
"Good morning", said the young man. "If I could take a couple minutes of your time, I would like to demonstrate the very latest in high-powered vacuum cleaners."
"Go away!" piped the old lady. "I'm broke and haven't got any money!" and she proceeded to close the door.
Quick as a flash, the young man wedged his foot in the door and pushed it wide open. "Don't be too hasty!" said he. "Not until you have at least seen my demonstration." And with that he emptied a bucket of horse manure onto her hallway carpet.
"Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, Madam, I will personally eat the remainder."
The old lady stepped back and said, "Well let me get you a fork, 'cause they cut off my electricity this morning."
THE BANANA TEST
There was a very, very tall coconut tree and four animals, a lion, a chimpanzee, a giraffe, and a squirrel, who pass by. They decide to compete to see who is the fastest to get a banana off the tree. Who do you guess will win? Your answer will reflect your personality. So think carefully. Try and get it within 30 seconds.
Got your answer? Now scroll down to see the analysis.
If your answer is:
A coconut tree doesn't have bananas!
Obviously you're stressed and overworked. You should take some time off and relax, banana brain. Try again next year.
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I COULD sit here, stare at you through the screen, and tell you that age is only relative; that's it's not how young you look but how young you feel; that we are all "young at heart" - eighteen til we die. But let's not beat around the bush. If you were born in the 80s the following factoids may give you a wake up call to how old you actually are.
I'm still struggling to get over how old Macaulay Culkin is turning this year. That and how grown up people born in the 90s actually are.
Happy Friday!
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Girls leave their schedule wide-open and wait for a guy to call and make plans.
Grown women make their own plans and nicely tell the guy to get in where he fits.
Girls want to control the man in their life.
Grown women know that if he's truly hers, he doesn't need controlling.
Girls check you for not calling them.
Grown women are too busy to realize you hadn't.
Girls are afraid to be alone.
Grown women revel in it-using it as a time for personal growth.
Girls ignore the good guys.
Grown women ignore the bad guys.
Girls make you come home.
Grown women make you want to come home.
Girls worry about not being pretty and/or good enough for their man.
Grown women know that they are pretty and/or good enough for any man.
Girls try to monopolize all their man's time.
Grown women realize that a lil' bit of space makes the 'together time' even more special-and goes to kick it with her own friends.
Girls think a guy crying is weak.
Grown women offer their shoulder and a tissue.
Girls want to be spoiled and 'tell' their man so.
Grown women 'show' him and make him comfortable enough to reciprocate without fear of losing his 'manhood'.
Girls get hurt by one man and make all men pay for it.
Grown women know that that was just one man.
Girls fall in love and chase aimlessly after the object of their affection, ignoring all 'signs'.
Grown women know that sometimes the one you love, don't always love you back-and move on, without bitterness.
Girls will read this and get an attitude.
Grown women will read this and pass it on to other Grown women and their male friends.
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SARCASM:- "A sharp, bitter, or cutting expression or remark; a bitter gibe or taunt." More contemporary definitions often emphasize the false, mocking praise and verbal irony of sarcasm rather than its malicious or scornful intent. However, the etymology of the word "sarcasm" clearly indicates that wounding was (at least historically) the primary point. The word comes from the late Latin sarcasmus, derived from the Greek sarkasmos ("a sneer, jest, taunt, mockery") and sarkazein ("to speak bitterly, sneer"--literally, "to strip off the flesh" or "to bite the lips in rage"). - Sarcasm Society
An illustration of sarcasm
“It's always darkest before it turns absolutely pitch black.”
- Paul Newman
An illustration of sarcasm
“History teaches us that men and nations behave wisely once they have exhausted all other alternatives.”
- Abba Eban
An illustration of sarcasm
“How do you feel about women's rights? I like either side of them.” - Groucho Marx
An illustration of sarcasm
“Sometimes I need what only you can provide: your absence.” - Ashleigh Brilliant
An illustration of sarcasm
“I never forget a face, but in your case I'll be glad to make an exception.” - Groucho Marx
An illustration of sarcasm
“Some cause happiness wherever they go; others whenever they go.” - Oscar Wilde
An illustration of sarcasm
“Reader, suppose you were an idiot. And suppose you were a member of Congress. But I repeat myself.” - Mark Twain
An illustration of sarcasm
“I believe in luck: how else can you explain the success of those you don't like?” - Jean Cocteau
An illustration of sarcasm
“I find it rather easy to portray a businessman. Being bland, rather cruel and incompetent comes naturally to me.”
- John Cleese
Related Post: An illustration of irony
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