CROWDED HOUSE: From nightclub to burnt pile of rubble

THE recent burning down of Pietermaritzburg nightclub Crowded House has, for many jollers, been considered as a welcomed "act of God".

Speaking as a 20 something from a small town, I know what it is like to only have a handful of options on a Friday night, not to mention the loss felt when one of those options closes down, or (in this case) gets scorched beyond recognition.

However, whether the incident in mention was an act of arson or a faulty electrical board, my interest has been sparked by Crowded House’s mobile marketing technique.

I was one of the unfortunate people to have my cell number jotted down while standing in the queue on one of the few nights I’ve been to the club. Although I no longer go there, I am still plagued by constant SMS’s from Crowded letting me know what I’m (not) missing out on.

Although I’m not roped in by these SMS’s, the fact is that Crowded House has proven the power and reach of mobile advertising. While I might be lying on the couch nursing a fantastic hangover from the night before and watching a movie on a Saturday night (and perhaps feeling a little sorry for myself), I am first to know what is happening at the nightclub down the road - where the majority of the other young folk probably are.

The thought that I may still be getting SMS’s from Crowded House when I’m 80 and in a wheelchair no longer bothers me; what does grate my balls is how the corporate bastard that is Crowded House spun the whole fire incident into a marketing scheme. After first receiving the news from them via SMS (before the papers) they followed that with this:

“Two days of national mourning has been declared for the burnt building known as CROWDED HOUSE. Join us at the old phat planet premises on thurs, 21/8 for a burning down the house party then join in the mourning by not going to varsity, vc [varsity college] and work on fri 22/8”

Two days of NATIONAL mourning. How popular do they think they are? Please. And trying to encourage people to bunk varsity and skip work in their honour? That’s just disgusting. You can give Crowded House credit for being persistent, but not appreciated.

I’m personally glad the place is gone. The fire has cleansed the cesspool where I’m sure many 'sins' have been committed. The only loss I feel is one more option scratched off the list of things to do in a small town...

Crowded House: Burn baby!

MYWITNESS: Cheap & simple cellular services

ONLINE banking, mobile shopping, cellphone blogging and much more are all readily available via several services. Yet all of these become a headache for anyone who was not a part of the ‘cool crowd’ at school. Wouldn’t life be a little bit simpler if all of these were available via a single service? Gmobile has done just that with the release of MyWitness.

MyWitness (which is fully WAP enabled and thus fully accessible from your cellphone) is a server-based platform that provides a very cheap and very user-friendly way of performing a large portion of your online activity – all from your cellphone. It is purely server-based and operates independently from other networks. What this means is that it offers its own unique service and, more importantly, charges its own rates – which is far less than the 40% average that the major cellular networks charge. SMS’s can be sent at 25cents, MMS’s 65cents.

A popular ‘everyday user’ appeal of MyWitness is Gchat, which has the same functionality of Mxit minus the cost – it’s free. The only charge applicable is the 2cents per kilobit of data downloaded to your phone (i.e. being online via your phone), which is regulated by Icasa.

Usually when browsing the web from your mobile information is temporarily stored to your phone to increase speed etc., however the network(s) you use have weaseled their way into charging you for this according to their own rates. The advantage of platforms such as MyWitness is that you are only charged for the data that you actually choose to download. They are able to avoid the sneaky charges mentioned by simply providing access to data.

To put this cost-effectiveness into perspective: one user in Thailand chatted to his wife in South Africa daily using G-chat over the course of 12 days. His entire communication bill? Less than R1 - and that’s because he had to send three SMS’s to his wife (at 25cents each) to tell her to go online. Furthermore, G-chat is compatible with most major IM’s such as Google Talk, so others that you wish to chat to need not be G-chat users.

Other features of MyWitness include being able to ‘shop’ for airtime and cellular related products such as wallpapers and ringtones, Google search the internet, receive the latest news headlines via RSS feeds, share audio files, video and pictures, upload content to your MyWitness blog or website, and do online banking.

If you are not familiar with mobile banking yet it is basically internet banking via a mobile platform (i.e. you use a phone instead of a computer). Registration requires an ID number which automatically creates a personal bank (debit) account. The currency on MyWitness is measured in Goins, which is regulated world wide. In South African currency (ZAR), one Goin is equal to one cent.

If you find blogging sites such as Blogger or WordPress too much of a headache, MyWitness provides the simplest way to set up and maintain your own blog or website. The visual appeal of these sites are really not that bad by beginner standards, and the simplicity of the whole thing is by far the no.1 advantage about it.

Each MyWitness user is provided with 100megs of compressed storage space. This may not seem like a lot but what’s great is that the platform automatically compresses data for you while it travels through the network. In other words there is no need to worry about the technicalities of file sizes. Images (JPEGS & GIFS) for example, are compressed to about 6k - irrelevant of their original size. Also, the original file is restored to its full glory and size when it reaches the other side – without any loss in quality.

The cellphone is fast becoming the ultimate all-in-one tool. This is your chance to jump on the technology bandwagon simply and cheaply. Just remember to get up and exercise once in a while!

Signing up for a MyWitness account will cost you R1.50 and can be done online (from a computer) at http://go.mywitness.co.za. You can also watch a video demonstration online and find additional information and set up instructions at www.witness.co.za.

Video: MyWitness user's speak

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